I wasn’t prepared, well, not mentally anyway. I had every little thing prepped & ready to go but that wasn’t what was worrying me. EVERYONE told me ‘boys are always late’ so I never expected on my due date to go in to labour. Even though I had done everything to get this baby going, in that moment, I wanted to keep him inside. I don’t know why but I just wasn’t ready to part with him, I just felt so panicked that this was actually happening. I sat on the toilet for a good ten minutes, Craig was still fast asleep so I text my best friend, my one of a kind – Phoebe. After speaking to her I thought I better go tell Craig, I went in & said ‘Craig, my waters have broke’ he jumped up in bed & said ‘oh you’re joking me’ – it’s hilarious now that he said that but right there & then I said ‘am I joking you, do I look like I’m fucking joking’ (language haha) He suddenly snapped – not in a nasty way, but it was if something switched inside of him, like protector mode, after a minute of fluster he just changed.
Craig jumped out of bed, asked what needed doing & did it. I phoned the hospital & told them that my waters had broke but I didn’t have any pain so they told me to go down. Craig packed the car full, all the baby bags, my bags, the car seat & isofix. Totally prepped to have our baby. He constantly asked ‘Are you ok?’ ‘Do you need anything, shall I pull over?’ By this point I was twinging & I was uncomfortable but nothing I couldn’t cope with. We got to the hospital & confirmed my waters had broke but I was only 2cm dilated so to go home & wait it out.
We got home & honestly, Craig was amazing. I can’t remember finer details as it was a very long process but he was exactly what I needed. We spent about 20 hours at home & then I couldn’t take anymore, I needed to go to hospital so we phoned & they told us to come on in, this is now 23 hours since my waters & contractions had started – I was feeling it. We arrived at hospital & they checked me, still only 5cm but they would keep us in and we would go to delivery suite.
I arrived at the delivery suit & met 1 of our many wonderful midwives – Jodie. I was given gas & air (absolutely loved the stuff) and I continued to sleep then wake, sleep then wake, all in between my contractions, Craig fed me, bathed my forehead, gave me drinks, rubbed my back – anything I wanted he did. I was struggling now, Jodie did a 10 hour shift & I still hadn’t had my baby. 33 hours since I had started this whole process & I wanted out. I got to that stage where you are just so uncomfortable you don’t think you can cope anymore. By this stage I had got through with just paracetamol, gas & air. For the next 6 hours I begged for an epidural – Craig knew I didn’t want one, we had discussed it & I said if I beg, don’t give me it. Anyway he tried, he really did but I won, they eventually gave me it to me, did the thing work? No! I was at 39 hours since my waters had broke & still no baby.
At this point the midwife told me (who I don’t remember because I was so out of it) ‘If the baby doesn’t come soon, we may have to do a C-Section. This made me absolute hysterical. I absolutely, point blank, did not want one. The midwife told me to basically get a grip & if I could get this baby out in the next hour then I wouldn’t need one so why was I crying. Good point. I just totally focused & got myself together. Craig, bless his heart, has now been awake for about 42 hours, his hand was raw from rubbing my back so much & my god he helped me. He was absolutely amazing. This man who had so many doubts, so much negativity towards this pregnancy, the man who didn’t want children, he had just become a Dad, in the past 42 hours that’s exactly what he did. He wanted to make sure I delivered our son safely into this world and nothing would stop him doing that, tired or not. He cheered me on & I was amazed by him.
On the 09th November at 5.32pm Baby Houseman was born. Weighing the most perfect 8lb 11oz & my god what a feeling. After 43 hours of labour our son came into this world, just absolutely perfect. I cannot put into words what that moment, a moment I wish I could feel over & over again, felt like. Completely & utterly in love.
Craig was passed George. I looked over and saw him, just sat in the chair, absolutely sobbing. He kissed his newborn sons forehead & just smiled through his tears, he inspected his little toes, his face with his fingers & just took every inch of our baby boy in. That moment I will cherish for the rest of my life. That imagine in my mind will never disappear & I see it every single time I see my boys together. Every fear I had ever felt in the last 9 months had just vanished, any doubts, any regret. Totally vanished.